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PROJECT: WHEN YOUR CHILD IS THE BULLY (PART 3)

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It is difficult for any parent to recognise that their child may be involved in bullying behaviour. Understanding the signs and taking proactive steps will help address and prevent such behaviour from escalating.


Mr Mike Bolhuis has effectively addressed numerous similar instances. He prioritises the well-being and safety of the victim while also implementing positive redirection for the bully. It is imperative to proactively address the behaviour of both the victim and the bully to prevent future occurrences and break the cycle for both parties.

 

REASONS WHY CHILDREN BULLY:

Bullying stems from various underlying issues, understanding root causes will help you address the behaviour effectively:

  • Insecurity or low self-esteem:

    • Some children bully to feel more powerful or compensate for insecurity.

  • Peer pressure:

    • Children engage in bullying to fit in with a particular group of friends or to avoid being bullied themselves.

  • Family dynamics:

    • If a child experiences aggressive behaviour or conflict at home, they mirror that behaviour at school.

  • Lack of boundaries:

    • Inconsistent discipline or lack of clear boundaries can lead to bullying, as the child may not understand the limits of acceptable behaviour.

  • Desire for control:

    • Bullies often seek control over others as a way to feel empowered, particularly if they feel a lack of control in other areas of their lives.

 

RED FLAGS:

  • If your child is often called to the principal's office or receives complaints from teachers or school staff about aggressive behaviour towards other students, this indicates a problem.

  • Bullying behaviour is often rooted in a lack of empathy for others. If your child consistently fails to recognise or care about the feelings of others, this could be a sign.

  • If your child is aggressive toward siblings, family members, or pets, it could be a reflection of their treatment of others outside the home.

  • Bullies often feel a need to control or dominate situations or relationships. If your child insists on always getting their way or tries to manipulate or intimidate others, this might be a red flag.

  • If your child frequently avoids taking responsibility for their actions or often says others are at fault, it could signal bullying behaviour.

  • If your child is part of a peer group that exhibits bullying behaviour, they may feel pressured or inclined to engage in similar behaviour.

  • Difficulty controlling anger or frustration, especially when things don't go their way, can lead to aggressive outbursts at home and school.

  • Sometimes, bullies gain popularity or social status through fear and intimidation. If your child is seen as a "leader" in a group and uses that position to dominate or control others, they could become bullies.

  • Extreme competitiveness, where your child reacts harshly to losing or makes others feel inferior when they win, can indicate a tendency toward bullying.

 

PREVENTING AND ADDRESSING BULLYING:

  • Start by talking openly with your child, not in an accusatory way, but to understand their perspective.

    • Ask them about their friendships and behaviour at school.

    • Explain what bullying is and why it's harmful.

    • Let them know that being kind and respectful is essential.

  • Establish firm rules about appropriate behaviour at home, school, and in social settings.

    • Make sure your child understands that bullying is unacceptable and that there will be consequences if it continues.

    • Consistent discipline (like losing privileges) will help reinforce this message.

  • Helping your child develop empathy is critical to preventing bullying.

    • Encourage them to think about how their actions affect others.

    • You can do this through storytelling, role-playing, or discussing real-life situations where they might imagine themselves in someone else's shoes.

  • Children often mimic the behaviour they see at home.

    • Make sure you model kindness, respect, and empathy in your own interactions.

    • Avoid using aggressive or punitive discipline techniques, as this can reinforce the idea that aggression is an acceptable way to solve problems.

  • Help your child learn constructive ways to handle conflicts, manage anger, and assert themselves without being aggressive.

    • This could include teaching them problem-solving skills, active listening, and how to handle stress in a healthy way.

  • Keep an eye on your child's friendships.

    • If they associate with peers who engage in bullying, encourage them to form friendships with children who model positive behaviour.

    • You can also monitor their social interactions through school events, playdates, or discussions with teachers.

  • Reduce your child's exposure to violent or aggressive media, including video games, movies, or TV shows, that glorify harmful behaviour.

    • Instead, introduce them to content that promotes cooperation, kindness, and problem-solving.

  • Partner with your child's teachers, counsellors, or the school's anti-bullying program.

    • They can provide insights into your child's behaviour at school and suggest interventions to help stop bullying behaviour.

  • When you observe your child being kind, helpful, or showing empathy, praise and reward that behaviour.

    • Positive reinforcement helps children understand that good behaviour is valued and appreciated.

  • If your child's bullying behaviour persists or is linked to deeper emotional or behavioural issues, consider seeking help from a professional, such as a child psychologist or counsellor.

    • Therapy can help your child develop better coping mechanisms, understand their emotions, and improve their behaviour.

 

READ OUR RECENT PROJECTS CONCERNING BULLYING:

 

Specialised Security Services invites the public to the Mike Bolhuis Daily Projects WhatsApp Group.

This group is important in delivering insights into the latest crime trends, awareness, warnings and the exposure of criminals.


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Regards,

Mike Bolhuis

Specialist Investigators into

Serious Violent, Serious Economic Crimes & Serious Cybercrimes

PSIRA Reg. 1590364/421949

Mobile: +27 82 447 6116

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