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A recent case brought to the attention of Mr Mike Bolhuis, owner of Specialised Security Services (SSS),
highlights the real dangers children face online. A concerned mother reached out to Mr Bolhuis
after discovering that her 13-year-old daughter had been communicating with a probable online
sexual predator.
Despite having a strong relationship with
her daughter and discussing online safety regularly, the child was ensnared by
someone she met online.
Do not think that this cannot
happen to your child!
The youth of today are intelligent and technologically savvy—more so than their parents.
They know how to manipulate and test their boundaries.
They are ideal victims of predators because of their emotional inexperience and lack of maturity.
By staying vigilant and taking proactive steps, you will help protect your child from the dangers posed by online predators.
How online predators operate and how they manipulate young people:
ESTABLISHING TRUST:
Initial Contact:
Predators often start by establishing a connection with the child.
They do this by pretending to be someone the child likes or relates to, such as a peer or someone with shared interests.
Flattery and Attention:
They shower the child with compliments and attention, making them feel special and valued.
This can create a sense of dependency and affection, making the child more susceptible to further manipulation.
Gradual Relationship Building:
Over time, the predator builds a genuine relationship.
They discuss personal topics, share secrets, and present themselves as trusted confidants.
GAINING AND MAINTAINING CONTROL:
Manipulation:
Predators use emotional manipulation to control the child.
They exploit the child's insecurities, loneliness, or desire for acceptance to deepen the relationship.
Desensitisation:
Gradually, they introduce inappropriate content or suggestive conversations to desensitise the child to sexual topics.
This gradual escalation changes the child's perceptions and behaviour, they become progressively more comfortable with risqué topics and conversation.
Secrecy and Isolation:
Predators often insist on secrecy and might tell the child that their relationship is special and that they should not tell anyone else.
They might create a sense of isolation from family and friends, making the child more dependent on them for emotional support.
COERCION AND EXPLOITATION:
Requests for Personal Information:
Once trust is established, predators ask for personal information such as addresses, phone numbers, or school details.
They use this information to manipulate or threaten the child.
Creating a Sense of Obligation:
They make the child feel guilty or obligated to comply with their requests.
This could involve threatening to end the relationship or revealing personal information if the child does not cooperate.
Using Blackmail:
In some cases, predators use blackmail, threatening to expose intimate or embarrassing content they have obtained from the child if the child does not continue to comply with their demands.
EXPLOITATION AND ABUSE:
Encouraging Harmful Behaviour:
Predators may encourage the child to engage in harmful behaviour, this may include sending explicit photos or meeting in person.
They often use manipulation techniques to convince the child that these actions are normal or necessary.
Creating Dependency:
The predator may foster a sense of dependency by providing emotional support or offering things the child wants, creating a psychological attachment that can be difficult for the child to break.
PROTECTIVE MEASURES FOR PARENTS:
Educate About Online Safety:
Teach children about the risks of sharing personal information online and emphasise the importance of privacy.
Open Communication:
Maintain open communication with your child.
Encourage them to talk about their online interactions and any concerns they might have.
Monitor Online Activity:
Regularly check your children's online activity and set up parental controls where possible.
Encourage Critical Thinking:
Help children understand the potential motives of people they meet online and encourage them to question the intentions of anyone who asks for personal information or suggests secrecy.
Professional Support:
If a child shows signs of being groomed or manipulated, seek professional help from counsellors or organisations specialising in child protection.
Children often struggle to fully grasp the dangers of online predators and may not always heed their parents' warnings for several psychological and developmental reasons.
Here is why:
LIMITED EXPERIENCE AND PERSPECTIVE:
Developmental Stage:
Children, especially preteens and teenagers, are still developing their ability to fully understand abstract concepts like online dangers.
Their cognitive and emotional development may not yet allow them to grasp the full extent of the risks involved.
Overestimation of Safety:
Adolescents often feel invulnerable and might underestimate risks, believing that such dangers are unlikely to affect them personally.
This overconfidence can lead them to disregard warnings.
DESIRE FOR INDEPENDENCE:
Seeking Autonomy:
As children grow, they seek more independence and may view parental warnings as restrictive or controlling.
They may resist advice as a way to assert their own identity and decision-making abilities.
Peer Influence:
The influence of peers is significant.
If friends or online communities downplay the risks or engage in risky behaviours, children may follow suit, prioritising peer approval over parental guidance.
EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION BY PREDATORS:
Emotional Needs:
Predators often exploit emotional needs or vulnerabilities.
Children who feel lonely, misunderstood, or insecure may be particularly susceptible to predators who offer them attention, understanding, or validation.
Grooming Techniques:
Predators use sophisticated grooming techniques to create a false sense of trust and security.
They may convince children that their relationship is special or that the warnings of their parents are exaggerated.
This makes the child more likely to dismiss parental concerns.
DIGITAL NATIVES VD DIGITAL IMMIGRANTS:
Different Perspectives:
Children who have grown up with digital technology (digital natives) have a different perspective on online interactions than their parents, who did not grow up in the computer age.
They may not fully appreciate the potential for danger and view online spaces as benign.
Lack of Experience:
Parents are not always aware of the nuances of online behaviour and culture, making it harder for them to relate to their children's experiences.
This generational gap affects how effectively warnings are communicated.
COMMUNICATION GAPS:
Understanding the Warning:
Sometimes, parents do not effectively communicate the risks or use language that is too abstract or alarming.
Children do not fully understand the implications of the warnings or interpret them as the parent being overprotective.
Resistance to Authority:
Children resist authority figures as part of their developmental process.
They reject parental advice simply because it is seen as authoritative or restrictive.
If ever you suspect that your child is a victim of an online predator, do not hesitate to seek expert assistance
from professionals like Mr Mike Bolhuis and his team at Specialised Security Services.
Specialised Security Services invites the public to the Mike Bolhuis Daily Projects WhatsApp Group.
This group is important in delivering insights into the latest crime trends, awareness, warnings and the exposure of criminals.
HOW TO JOIN THE MIKE BOLHUIS DAILY PROJECTS WHATSAPP GROUP:
Follow the link to our WhatsApp group:
"JOIN" to ensure you never miss our daily updates.
You will receive automatic notifications as soon as a new project is posted.
CONTACT MR MIKE BOLHUIS FOR SAFETY AND SECURITY MEASURES, PROTECTION, OR AN INVESTIGATION IF NEEDED.
ALL INFORMATION RECEIVED WILL BE TREATED IN THE STRICTEST CONFIDENTIALITY AND EVERY IDENTITY WILL BE PROTECTED.
Regards,
Mike Bolhuis
Specialist Investigators into
Serious Violent, Serious Economic Crimes & Serious Cybercrimes
PSIRA Reg. 1590364/421949
Mobile: +27 82 447 6116
E-mail: mike@mikebolhuis.co.za
Fax: 086 585 4924
Follow us on Facebook to view our projects -
EXTREMELY IMPORTANT: All potential clients need to be aware that owing to the nature of our work as specialist investigators there are people who have been caught on the wrong side of the law - who are trying to discredit me - Mike Bolhuis and my organisation Specialised Security Services - to get themselves off the hook. This retaliation happens on social media and creates doubt about our integrity and ability. Doubt created on social media platforms is both unwarranted and untrue. We strongly recommend that you make up your minds concerning me and our organisation only after considering all the factual information - to the exclusion of hearsay and assumptions. Furthermore, you are welcome to address your concerns directly with me should you still be unsatisfied with your conclusions. While the internet provides a lot of valuable information, it is also a platform that distributes a lot of false information. The distribution of false information, fake news, slander and hate speech constitutes a crime that can be prosecuted by law. Your own research discretion and discernment are imperative when choosing what and what not to believe.
STANDARD RULES APPLY: Upon appointment, we require a formal mandate with detailed instructions. Please take note that should you not make use of our services – you may not under any circumstance use my name or the name of my organisation as a means to achieve whatever end.
POPI ACT 4 of 2013 South Africa: Mike Bolhuis' "Specialised Security Services" falls under Section 6 of the act. Read more here: https://mikebh.link/fntdpv
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