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Teenager dating violence in South Africa is a concerning issue that often remains hidden behind closed doors. Despite progress in various aspects of social development, the prevalence of dating violence among teenagers persists as a significant challenge.
Defined as physical, emotional, or sexual abuse within a romantic relationship, it not only inflicts immediate harm but also has long-term implications for the well-being of adolescents.
Cultural norms, socioeconomic factors, and unequal power dynamics contribute to the complexity of this issue, making it crucial to address through comprehensive education, support services, and policy interventions.
Understanding the dynamics and prevalence of teenager dating violence in South Africa is essential for developing effective prevention and intervention strategies to safeguard the safety and dignity of young individuals.
THE FACTS:
Studies have revealed alarming facts about teen and young adult relationships that require immediate attention.
Shockingly, relationships usually begin at age 14 or even younger, and a third of 11 to 12-year-olds have already been in a relationship.
Sex is considered to be part of a relationship for 11 to 14-year-olds, and 25% of girls have reported being pressured into performing sexual acts.
Furthermore, 25% of girls have been subjected to repeated verbal abuse, and dating violence happens in about 30% of all relationships.
It is crucial to note that young people aged 12 to 19 experience the highest rates of rape and sexual assault.
The age group of 16 to 24 is most susceptible to dating violence and over 90% of the victims of violence in relationships are female.
It is unacceptable that women tend to believe that the abuse is their fault and that they do not deserve better.
It is high time we acknowledge these facts and take immediate action to address them.
WARNING SIGNS YOUR TEAANAGER MUST BE ABLE TO RECOGNISE:
Physical violence:
If your partner hits you, then it is conclusive that they are abusive.
Even shoving or pushing can indicate an abusive partner.
Symbolic violence:
Is when your partner destroys things that belong to you.
For instance, if they throw objects or break things, it may be a sign that they are capable of becoming physical with you.
Fast-paced relationships:
If the pace of the relationship is too fast, it can be a sign that your partner is trying to control you.
It is abusive to push someone into a relationship they are not ready for.
Persistence:
If your partner does not take no for an answer, it is not because they are smitten.
Anyone who ignores your boundaries and insists on getting their way is trying to control you.
RED FLAGS OF UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR:
Examples of controlling behaviour:
Calling you all the time and expecting to know where you are at all times.
Prescribing what you must wear and criticism regarding your general looks - whether you are attractive or not.
Isolating you from family and friends.
Deciding who you may socialise with and showing signs of unjustified jealousy.
Wanting to be with you alone and all the time.
Examples of unacceptable verbal/emotional behaviour:
Name-calling.
Belittling.
Criticism.
Threats.
Examples of unacceptable physical behaviour:
Hitting.
Biting.
Pushing.
Kicking.
Strangling.
Cruelty to animals or children.
Pinching
Example of unacceptable sexual behaviour:
Forced sexual acts.
Being forced into having sex, or the playful use of force during sex.
Refusing the use of birth control by derogatory comments or threats.
Unwanted touching/kissing
Example of unacceptable online behaviour:
Posting embarrassing photos.
Posting threats.
All forms of online bullying.
TEENAGE VICTIMS OF DATING VIOLENCE MIGHT:
Feel angry, sad, lonely, depressed, or confused.
Feel helpless to stop the abuse.
Feel threatened or humiliated.
Feel anxious and unsure of what might happen next.
Feel like you cannot talk to family and friends.
Be afraid of getting hurt more seriously.
Feel protective of their abuser, boyfriend or girlfriend.
SAFETY MEASURES TO CONSIDER:
It is important to have a safety plan in case you ever feel threatened or in danger.
Consider having a secret code word on your phone that only trusted friends or family members know about, which you can use to indicate that you need help.
Always make sure to let someone know where you are going and when you expect to be back.
It is a good idea to memorise important phone numbers and save them as speed dial contacts.
Additionally, be sure to carry a fully charged cell phone and some extra money for transportation at all times.
If you are ever unsure about a situation, try to go out with a group of people for added safety.
It is essential for teenage victims to understand that it is not their fault, and they can seek help from trusted sources.
Any type of abuse should never be tolerated.
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Regards,
Mike Bolhuis
Specialist Investigators into
Serious Violent, Serious Economic Crimes & Serious Cybercrimes
PSIRA Reg. 1590364/421949
Mobile: +27 82 447 6116
E-mail: mike@mikebolhuis.co.za
Fax: 086 585 4924
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